


Day 26: Family

by Sarahs_sinnlose_schreiberei



Series: Carry on Countdown 2017 [25]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Feelings, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 08:15:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13655055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarahs_sinnlose_schreiberei/pseuds/Sarahs_sinnlose_schreiberei
Summary: Simon thinks about family and isn't feeling that well. Baz tries to help. What is family?





	Day 26: Family

Simon

 

This time around the year it always hits me. I don't have anyone who cares about me. Okay… actually I do. I have Penny and Agatha and people from Uni and since the whole Humdrum disaster I got Baz. Perfect, caring, beautiful Baz. 

But I don't have a family. There is no one. Just me. 

 

Baz

 

He is the embodiment of misery right now. I can't stand to see him like this. There has to be something I can do. But he won't talk. He won't even look at me. He's just sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands, his cup of tea now cold in front of him. He didn't touch it once. 

Standing behind him I wrap my arms gently around his shoulders, placing my chin on his shoulder. A few moments pass. It's not awkward at all. I kiss him tenderly on his neck. 

I hear him murmur something incomprehensible. It's hard to make a sense of it but it sounds like it took a lot of effort so I let him take his time. I don't want to push him back into his shell of sorrow and sadness. 

“I am all alone.”

What am I supposed to answer? He is definitely not alone and I know in some sense he knows this too but right now… He just can't process it. 

It's a dark place, I've been there. 

Reminding him won't solve the problem but I can try to take care of him.

“You have me.”, I hear myself say. 

It's a week attempt I know but I'm trying. I'm new to all this ‘I'm allowed to show my affection’ thing too. But I need him to understand. 

 

Simon

 

I appreciate his effort. I really do. But I guess this is one of the few problems in my life some nice words and a buttery score won't solve… 

It's not his fault. He shouldn't feel guilty or obliged to help me. It's not his fault. 

“But what about a family?”

 

Baz

 

This kind of stings. Like I'm not worthy enough. He's not trying to hurt me and I know he doesn't mean it like this. But my own aches aren't important right now. They need to be pushed away in favour of Simon. So I try to chose my words carefully:

“My mum died when I was little and my dad hates me. Hates me because I remind him of mother and because I'm a vampire and because I'm gay. But there's still my sisters and my step mum. And you. And I guess Penny… Kind of. What I'm trying to say is: You get to chose your family. Blood is worth nothing in the end.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)
> 
> This is kind of a touchy topic to me so I hope I didn't butcher this too bad.


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